Friday, August 14, 2009

Imagine!

Imagine there's no Heaven

It's easy if you try

No hell below us

Above us only sky

Imagine all the people

Living for today

Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace

These lines are from John Lennon’s song ‘Imagine’. Everytime I hear this song I get transported to a psychedelic world with nothing to worry, just love, peace and happiness. I cannot say whether John Lennon really meant what he wrote or whether he did it just for the money, but just imagine what if the world transformed overnight as according to this song. I know this is impossible, with so many blood thirsty fueled by greed leaders of the out there. The sky may open up and fart out loud but the world leaving in Peace….. It’s just impossible.

So inspired by John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’, I have decided to write my own version of ‘Imagine’:

Imagine if God did not create Eve (We would still be in Eden)

Imagine if Eve did not tempt Adam to taste the forbidden fruit (We would still be in Eden)

Imagine a world without the First World War

Imagine a world without the atom bomb blast on Japan

Imagine a world without the Vietnam War

Imagine a world without greed and jealousy

Imagine a world without money, where everyone has the same quality of life

Imagine a world without the 9/11

Imagine a world without Osama Bin Laden

Imagine a world without Saddam Hussain

Imagine a world without Bush

Imagine a world without religion

Imagine a world without the corporate world

But I can’t imagine a world without TV and BEER

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Have you ever been seduced by a Playboy bunny?

Have you ever been seduced by a sexy ass Playboy bunny? Have you ever dream of Michael Jackson after his death? Have you ever fantasized getting jiggy with Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt? Guys have you dreamed of becoming a porn star, where you get paid doing what you love the most and you get to explore manygina without the tension of dating? Well I have never dreamed any of the above (well I won’t mind the last one)…. This post has nothing to do with any of these and I am not going to blog about any of these.

Right now my life revolves around India, its history, culture, religion and so on. I have soaked up a lot of India and I really feel lucky to a part of this fascinating country. Compared to West, India is a completely different world in almost every way. Though most of my post is about India and I know some of you must have had enough reading about India, but I can’t help it. I have bitched about India a lot (which I don’t regret) but today for a change I’ll write the things that I love about India.

The best thing about India is its closely knitted family lifestyle. I mean the joint family. Unlike the West, where kids flies away from their folks once they reach 18, in India you will find kids sticking with their folks even after getting married. I really admire this. Kids in India stick with their folks, not because they cannot support themselves but because they want to repay what their parent have done for them, by supporting them in their old age. In the west once you moved out from your home, people hardly even call up their folks, leave alone visiting them. I really have learned a lot from this. I haven’t seen my folks in almost three years and I hardly call them up. But after coming to New Delhi and mingling with the locals I have started calling my folks at least twice and I have decided that no matter what I’ll be spending this Christmas with my folks.

Overall, India is not such a bad country. People still have respect for their elder (though I have seen 5 year old kids calling his grandpa a motherfucker and a sister fucker), but seriously overall, people still respect their elders. People here still believe in the holy relationship of a brother and a sister. They observe this by celebrating the festival of Rakhi (which happens in the first week of August), where the sister ties a holy tread in her brother’s arm. Speaking of Rakhi Festival, I hope the two hot chicks (Miss Annie and Miss Kapoor, both blessed with Irresistible body, who I believe are blessed with 36+ size boobs) who sits next to me are not planning to tie me that holy tread. Guys, Let me just stop here.. I have to go and apply for a day off that day because I seriously don’t want to be their brother… LOL……

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Sex Adventure of Two Indians and a Polish

Are you stressed out? Well I am. Am tried of my daily 9 hours working shift. Tired of watching the on going war in Iraq, the protest in Iran and Honduras. Tried of watching tributes to Michael Jackson, tired of Michael Jackson fans morning. In short am so stressed out that I don’t find anything in this life exciting.

Who isn’t stressed out? I should thank God that I still find pleasure doing small stuffs like spending my time with my new puppy (Oh yes.. I have a new puppy now), riding my horse, jamming with my band, drinking chilled beer, making plans on how to earn my first million online, watching big ass, big asses, free ass, round ass, Asian movies, women and Bollywood movie, (well the bold words were added just to increase some traffic. LOL. It seems these are the top keywords right now).

Recently I have been sneaking to jokes sites from my work place and believe me keeps me refreshed. During one of my trip to a site called Aha! Jokes I came across a really funny one. Here it goes. Hope you will enjoy this:

Two Indians and a Polish fellow were walking along together in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. He stopped and hollered into the cave... "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" and then listened very closely until he heard the answer..."Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" He then tore off his clothes and ran in to the cave.

Confused the Polish fellow asked the other Indian what that was all about, was that Indian going nuts. "No", said the other Indian. "It is mating time for us Indians and when you see a cave and holler, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", and get an answer back, that means that a female is in there waiting for you.

After walking for some distance, the other Indian saw another cave. He took off and ran up to the cave, then stopped and hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" When he heard the return, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", off came the clothes and into the cave he goes.
Excited the Polack started running around the desert looking for a cave. All of a sudden, he looked up and saw this great big cave. As he looked in amazement, he was thinking, "Man! Look at the size of that cave! It's bigger then the ones that those Indians found. There must really be something really great in this cave!"

Well... he took-off up the hill at a super fast speed. He got in front of the cave and hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" He was just tickled all over when he heard the answering call of, "WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!! WOOOOOOOOO!!! Off came his clothes and, with a big smile on his face, he raced into the cave.

The next day in the newspaper the head lines read, Naked Polack Run Over By Freight Train!!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Halleluiah: New Delhi is Wet like a Girl in her Prime!

Today I just feel like saying Halleluiah.. Halleluiah.. You wanna know why! Well the skies have finally opened up. The temperature has drastically dropped from 45 to 34. IS this a miracle? A blessing from above? Or Mother Nature is in a good mood. It finally rained here in New Delhi. I never expected this. New Delhi is at its best today. The ride to work from home was so enjoyable that I had this feeling of going back to home and ride back again to work. Believe me not even a single drop of sweat was wasted today.

Since its payday I guess I’ll grab some beer on the way, hire a pool dancer or a stripper and have some fun. Wish I could do that. Unfortunately there are no pool dancer and stripper here in New Delhi, to my knowledge. For god sake, sex is a taboo here, even though it has the second most populated country in the world.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Cruising the Streets of New Delhi: Not an Easy Task

Since I have started riding my horse to work, I have been having a blast. I just love the feeling of warm summer wind brushing through my over silky hair (who’s hair won’t be silky after applying a bottle of Livon), the rush of going 100 kilometers an hour, the fear of being crushed by a 10 to 20 something ton truck and the uncertainty of whether my horse can take the hot and the awful humidity of New Delhi. It’s just awesome…

Driving in New Delhi can be terrifying, especially if you are riding a bike. Local drivers here are all born qualified F1 racer. They can even blast an 800 cc car at 150 kilometers. If you own a Honda Civic, then the road is yours. Though there is a speed limit, but no one. Nobody give a damn to the cops, provided that you must have 100 bucks (around 3 dollars) in your wallet. In short New Delhi is kind of a race car driver paradise. If you run over a biker or a predistian, you can always get away from the scene, or if caught by the cops, well, around 5000 rupees can get the job done. If you are a speed freak, come on over here and test your skills. I would recommend Ferrari, Porsche , Honda, Lamborghini, BMW and Mercedes to stop wasting their time, patience and money on drivers like Lewis Hamilton and Michael Schumacher. Instead come over here. You will get hundreds and hundreds or drivers who can drive 120 kilometers and hour at streets filled with leg pulled rickshaws, tuk-tuks, cars, trucks, bikes and bicycles. Just imagine, if these drivers were given one of your super cars and let them driver in a racing circuit.

Am still riding my horse, though it’s very dangerous here. But I have my own reasons. My work shift starts from 14:00 hours. I sleep till noon, so its almost impossible for me to grab breakfast. Traveling in crowded cabs, filled with fresh wash aroma of sweats, fish like body odor, burping and occasional farting is challenging. Especially if you are traveling on empty stomach. One can even get lifelong diseases. I have decided, it would be better to risk my life and ride my horse top work, rather than be a part of this smelly feast!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

This Has Been a Spiritual Weekend for Me

This weekend has been a spiritual weekend for me. Am glad I had the chance to experience it. On Saturday I went to a Hindu temple with a friend. I have never been to a Hindu temple and this was my first time. Though it was a bit noisy with every one try to hit the bells, but the ambiance of the temple was amazing. The smell of incense sticks burning, fascinating statues of gods and goddess, it was really an experience.

Sunday was even better. After such a long time (I can’t even remember the last time I attend a church service) I attend a Sunday service. The church was around half an hour drive from my place. The church was somewhat or sort of located right next to the entrance of the President of India. I feel good after attending a church service after such a long time. I had enough time to mediated on what was going on my life, where am heading. It was like ‘finding yourself all over again’. The service started with praise and worship, and there was this song called ‘ You are the Alpha and Omega’, which stirred a storm inside of me. No.. Nothing sort of that happened, if you are thinking I was touched by the holy spirit and I suddenly started shouting in Hebrew. Listening to the song made me realize that I should not mess up with ‘THE BOSS’ , how ungrateful I have been, how I have drifted away from me. All these thoughts almost brought tears to my eyes.
I am a Christian by birth not by choice. I have never cared much for Christianity or any religion. But thinking now, am realizing how ignorant I have been. Anyway I was, am and never have been very good with sharing God’s word, I’ll just stop here.

Here are some pictures that I took during the weekend. Hope you will like it.




The temple which i visited on Saturday














Statue of Gandhi: Located on the way to the Church


I seriously don't know how this kid ended up in this picture.


View of the church from the lawn. This is the Cathedral Church of Redemption built around late 1920 by.



I did not attend the service of this church. There is a small church which is located inside this church property, i attend that church.



This is the back entrance of the residence of the President of India. The entrance is located opposite to the church gate.



Two pigeons trying to get jiggy with each other.

P.s: I have finally moved in to my new apartment. A bit hot but its great. There isn't a single joint in my body, a single muscle and a single hair (including those) that does not hurt..


Friday, May 8, 2009

SPANK Me! I have been a Bad Blogger

I have been a very bad blogger. It’s been days since I have updated my blog. But before you come to a conclusion, please hear my ALIBI. These past two weeks were HELL for me at work. Deadlines and more deadlines to be met. Not satisfied with my alibi, you can go ahead and SPANK me!

Yesterday we got an unexpected day off from work. Thanks to the Delhi Government who decided that the parliament election would be held on a week day not a weekend. Getting day off on unexpected days are so me. I feel that a day off on a working day is more enjoyable than the off I get on weekends. I don’t know how you feel but I consider these kinds of offs more special that the one I am entitled with.

As a wise corporate slut I took full advantage of my day off. I visited some old buddies, went out for a long ride on my horse and then partied with some buddies. Though I have been recommended to stay away from alcohol for sometime but come on, some bottles of beer won’t do much harm. After all, its almost two weeks I haven’t boozed. Enough of my bullshits.. I’ll leave you with some pictures I took last night with some buddies after a light drinking session. Unfortunately, there is not even a single photo that has picture of me as I was the one who was clicking away.










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Monday, April 27, 2009

Weekly Wrap Up!

Did I tell you that some weeks I won a book give away contest at the Free Spirit. I guess I haven’t. The giveaway took place on March 25, 2009, which was hosted by Mark Phillips. I was among those lucky ones to won a copy of ‘The Resqueth Revolution’. Just some days back I got the book. To be honest, ‘The Resqueth Revolution’ is one of the best thriller novels I have ever read. Although many consider this book as a science fiction horror novel, but I would say this is a hard core thriller novel. It just took me a night to complete the book. If you are a book worm with a taste for thriller, action, suspense and surprises, I would say, ‘The Resqueth Revolution’ is a must for you. You can also grab your own copy here.



The month is almost gone and am dying for salary. Saving is not for me and I always face trouble by the end of every month. Let me not start on saving. Here is a picture that I took on my pay day….





I also bought a steel horse (sort of).. Actually you can call it a steel horse as its only a 125 cc bike designed as a cruise bike... But am satisfied with what i can afford. Its a Yamaha Enticer, with a single engine, not a twin V engine. Anyway am pretty happy with this bike, after all the whole point of me buying this horse is to get me from point A to Point b, plus avoid the daily negotiation with taxi drivers and Autos (99.9% of them are assh**es). This horse gives a mileage of nearly around 30 miles for 1 liter of petrol. Its super economy. Now I can spend my transportation money somewhere else.





The traffic here in New Delhi is awesome. I can guarantee you that most extreme sports lovers would think twice before riding a bike here in Delhi. Right now am riding at around 40-50 kilometers per hour...






Friday, April 24, 2009

It Ain't A Big Dream To Ask

How are you guys doing? Am feeling much better today! Thank God it was nothing serious. I went to the Doc and returned with a truck load of medicines. The Doc told me, it was nothing serious, only my lungs, liver and kidney were not functioning as they were suppose to. Right now am banned from smoking, alcohol (including beer), spicy and oily food. Thanks God again, he did not mention non-veg. Can’t live without meat! I am a tiger, and how can a tiger live on grass. Anyway even if he did not ban me from having meat, I know I’ll be having a tough time figuring out my diet as in India there isn’t a single damn dish that isn’t oily or spicy.

As the saying goes ‘an empty mind is a devil’s playground’, so I have tried my best to keep my mind occupied with stuffs, good stuffs. The whole week I was thinking and trying to figure out how in the world I ended up being a corporate slave. Where I have to spend my life in the confined four walls of the corporate world doing the same damn thing over and over again everyday? I have never wanted this life. I have always dreamed of a carefree life, where I get to do different stuffs everyday. I have always dreamed of a career that would pay me for doing what I like, a career that would let me work my own way with none supervising me nor me supervising none.

If you are thinking that I want a career with a job tag such as a CEO of a multi national company, the President of a country or a governor of a state, well you are wrong. I have a very humble dream career, something like this. A humble, Rock Star with some five or six multi platinum albums, all listed on the top five of the billboard. An eight digit weekly salary cheque, a small house in the Caribbean surrounded by some three or four acres of lush gardens with view of the ocean from all sides. A small private jet to take me here and there, some porches, Lamborghini and Ferrari sports cars to take me to the grocery store. To keep me away from bore dome, some bunnies from the center fold would be just fine for me. Its not a big dream. No one’s dream can be as humble as mine. I am not asking much, all I want is my humble dream to come true.

Enough of bullshitting! Life is to short to be wasted regretting. Weekend is almost here. Let me first have some fun and then plan my life before it’s too late.

(P.S: Any suggestion on how I can achieve my dream is most welcome)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Everythin is Cool Here, Except

This must be one of the worst weekends. Everything is fine except I was having temperature the whole weekend, plus acute chest pain. I guess I was have high temperature is because of the sudden change of weather here in Delhi. Guys its 40 degree Celsius (104 °F) here in New Delhi. For the chest pain, I suspect its because of my past life.. As you all know I was a drug abuser plus I used to dope like hell.. I guess I am having those problems because of my fucked pass year (sorry for the foul language)

Saturday and Sundays were hell. I could hardly get out of my bed. Though I still am not felling well, I came to work. Just minutes after I reached work, the pain started again. I have taken half day off from my work. Am waiting for my cab to pick me up.. I guess I’ll be visiting a doctor today.

Since I have no mood of shouting out my views today, I’ll leave you guys with some pictures of the neighborhood where am staying.. It’s one of those low cost neighborhoods but its exciting as hell… Here it goes.