Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Letting it out

How was my Christmas? It was cute. We all managed to drag ourselves home with our own two feet without any external aid. Nothing wild, stupid or crazy, it was just a simple dinner with friends, followed by light drinks and a bit of gambling. It was cute. How was yours?

Coming back to the main topic of this post, here are the top 5 news revolving around me at the moment.

News 1: I guess I might be an alcoholic. What made me realize this? Well, it’s been a while am having lunch in this bar and if its dinner I have point but what the hell am I doing in a bar 12 in the noon. Every Sunday I buy alcohol for the whole week but somehow I manage to drink them by Wednesday. Am so dependent on alcohol that I need a vodka shoot every morning before shower and another shoot before breakfast. I guess it’s time I evaluate how am living my life.

News 2: This news is freaking hilarious. There is a certain girl in my office who is super pissed with a fellow co-workers for some undisclosed reason. They have reached the no talking point and the complete ignoring each other’s presence. This certain girl recently went to her friend list to remove this certain guy but the guy has already removed her from his list. It was somehow like that phrase’ the hunter becomes the hunted’.

I seriously don’t understand why people get so personal at work place. I don’t give a damn what other co-workers are doing or dealing with or think about me. For me it’s doing my stuff and getting paid for that. People always come up to me and complain about them getting ignored by other people and who they are ignoring. Well I too have a complain, please stop talking to me.

At work, am like a magnet that attracts motor mouths, free advice givers, polymathic dudes, braggers, grumbler and insecure guys. The fun part is, there is a certain dude who has all the qualities. From today I have decided, if any one with the above qualities shows up or the guy with all these quality shows up, am going to say it straight in his face ‘Shut the fuck up’!!!!

News 3: My office people decided to start our own office rock band. Unfortunately the band broke up even before it was formed. The reason is jealousy. I don’t get it because these guys started bitching about each other how sloppy the other guy is with the guitar when they have not even seen each other playing.

News 4: This is a public service request to everyone staying in New Delhi to donate old sweaters, jackets, shawls, blankets or anything to keep a poor homeless person warm. In the first month of winter itself, over 100 people lost their lives to the cold. I have donated some old blankets to a homeless family living close to my home and I would request everyone to do so.

News 5: World Hindu Council has started protesting against the certain Russian city’s decision to ban Bhagvad Gita by burning an effigy representing Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. The verdict on whether to ban Bhagvad Gita is today.

Well, these are the top 5 news around me at the moments. I’ve got some news but I think it’s not worth mentioning. After all who wants to hear about the free porn site I discovered, that Rihanna’s song which got download to my Iphone by mistake and me loving that song, me losing my pineapple flavored Del Monte juiceginity yesterday and my obsession for Modern Family, Rules of Engagement and my crush on Christa Miller after watching cougar Town, the list goes on and on and on…..

Friday, December 23, 2011

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Crazy Romeo! Dirt Cheap Indian Rum

Did you read the news? For me the top news right now is:

The Hindu community is furious over the issue to ban Bhagwad Gita, one of the holiest books in the Hindu religion in Siberia, Russia. Who won’t be? If they were to ban Bible even I would react in the same way.

The North Koreans are mourning over the dead of their fairytale leader Kim Jong-il. But how come he is dead, I thought he was send straight from heaven. By reading the history about his birth with the light from the sky, the multiple rainbows appearing and what not, he is no less than any god. But no matter what the world says how cruel and selfish he was but this dude did enjoy his life. I read it in a newspaper that Kim Jong-il had a troupe of some 2,000 dancing girls who were recruited during their teens from various schools and the group was divided into three teams, a “satisfaction team”, whose sole job was sexual services; the “happiness team for massage and the entertainment team who would entertain guest with choreographed stripteases. But the visitors had access to entertainment team alone. No matter what the world says about him, he did enjoy his life.

The Polymathic guy in my office who comes to my seat everyday to give free advice on almost every possible topic which I have no interest, from music to software’s, from cars to rockets and from how to impress girls to where to find good bars in Delhi and the list goes on and on… God i hate people who gives out free advice and unfortunately India is a country known for free advice. Everyone here is an expert.

Of all the news, my top 1 news is the Christmas party this weekend. In fact we have already started the celebration with some really cheap rum.


Yeah i know the name is lame. Who names a bottle of Rum 'Crazy Romeo'. This rum is dirt cheap. Its just 200 rupees for a liter that's around $4.


I don't have any obsession for cheap rum but am too clever to drink expensive alcohols. Whether its a cheap or a super expensive bottle of rum, the drunken state is always the same. its just a matter of five minutes because after that any drinks taste good.




Oh yeah, the bonfire. My landlord has some old furniture kept in the terrace which are beyond repair, so we decided to light a bonfire in the terrace. Bonfire+cheap rum in hot water = fun, fun, fun.


My buddies enjoying the bonfire and showing off 'Crazy Romeo'.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Delhi: A City Full of Surprises

My 40 minutes cab ride to office is never boring. Everyday there is something new. Someday I’ll have a cab driver who can’t stop bragging about himself, someday it will be a co-worker who can’t stop giving free advice (Yeah, in India people love to give free advice, the entire country is known for that), someday I’ll get a cab with a jammed door on one side and a window which I can’t roll up on the other side, someday there will be a protest (yeah, we love to protest, in fact some will protest for the long traffic jam, some will protest because of the hike in bus fare, some will even protest if the government lower the price of the bus fares) someday there will be a marriage procession going on, someday there will be people fighting just for a small scratch on their car (Delhiites will have the shortest fuse in the world and people are super frustrated here) and someday you will come across such sights, which you cant simply ignore.

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This dude was walking leisurely in the middle of the road without giving a damn to anyone. By looking at him I can somehow feel what he must be thinking (Read slowly with a deep, bassy voice) WTF guys, move, move move .. . I have a date with a super sexy elephant.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Diwali, An Indian Festival Partly Made in China

Diwali was last month and its one of my favorite festivals. Fascinatingly, it looks and feels more like a battlefield rather than a festival as the whole city lights up with fireworks. If you by any chance fly across any major Indian cities on this night, your first impression would be ‘Oh Shit, the city is on Fire’.

It’s really a fun festival, when even the oldest and the weirdest building look glamorous with all the decoration and fancy lights.

Blame me but, Diwali is kind of funny to me. You wanna know why? All these buildings will be dressed up in multi-colored fancy lights made in China and most of these lights come with pre-recorded songs and sounds which are mostly Christmas Songs (jingle bells). In a way, Diwali is an Indian festival made in China with Christian soundtrack. If you ever plan to visit India, I would suggest coinciding your visit during the Diwali which happen last of October or first week of November.


Streets light up with Neon lights



Stairs to my Apartment. Someone took all the trouble to lit up the entire stairs of my apartment with diyas (an earthen oil lamp). On a regular day, my apartment stairs looks more like a haunted place where anything horrible can happen.


View of my Apartment Stairs from the Terrace. Thank you, Mr/Ms/Mrs unknown who took all the trouble to lit up our crappy building.


Fireworks - Please don't sing that Katy Perry Song



Kids living next door going nuts in the terrace.

Fireworks

More Fireworks

This is my favorite shoot from that night.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Pictures of Delhi - Its tough to get bored here!

I have said this before and I’ll say it now, ‘It’s very tough to get bored in Delhi’. The crowd, the sound and the smell which blends perfectly with the flamboyant lifestyle of the locals and the diverse ethnicity and the culture makes Delhi so unique. Compare to other western cities, Delhi is at least 5 steps behind major Western cities in terms of infrastructure, entertainment, economy and so on. But what we have over here is natural entertainment, which you will find it everywhere.

Take a cruise around the city; the streets are full of contrast. You will find bullock carts stuck in traffic jams along with BMW and Mercedes cars, a slum on one side and a top notch shopping mall on the other and of course those Indian cars like Maruti 800 with BMW and Ferrari logo. Seriously it’s very tough to get bored in Delhi.

I don’t deny the fact that most people, especially Westerners might find Delhi’s chaotic ambiance frightening but the trick to enjoy this city is to come with an open mind and be prepared to expect the unexpected. If I were to give out travel tips, all I have to say is go foot loose and yeah, girls dress conservatively.

Here are some random pictures of Delhi. Enjoy!!!!




Chariot owner decorating his Chariot, most probably on his way to a wedding. In India, the groom always arrive in a horse drawn Chariot. Keeping the Fairytale tradition alive.



Factory workers enjoying their lunch bought from rickshaws. Taking the meaning of Al fresco dining to a whole new level, Delhi Style.




School children returning from school. You think your kids school bus is not safe enough.


Delivering the Goods. Wanna know what goods they are carrying. It was loaded with whiskey.


Making Chole Batura, one of Delhi's favorite street foods. These food are super delicious but its also super unhygienic.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Metallica in Delhi is cancelled

What was supposed to be the event of this era turned fuckish when the show organizers pulled of the concert because of some certain technical problems. Hell yeah, am talking about tonight’s Metallica concert in Delhi. I have been waiting for this concert for a long time along with almost thirty thousand metal heads.

First they postpone the show and now they have cancelled the show altogether. I know why they have to cancel the show and it’s because the crowd went on a rampage. But the crowd action was pretty much justified. A friend of mine was outside the venue since last night. He told me that Metallica came for sound check 3 in the morning. It was not just one guy there were people coming in from different states and even from nearby countries to see the show. It was really frustrating. The crowd reaction was pretty much justified.

The confusing part was, they announced that the show has been postponed just one hour before the show and Metallica was still in their hotel. I have this feeling that it was not because of some technical snag but because of some management problem. The Metallica crew did manage to take out all the equipments before the announcement but whatever equipments that were left got fucked big time. Am not even sure whether Metallica concert for Bangalore is still on or not.

The screwed up part is Metallica in Delhi is cancelled. According to some news source DNA guys will refund the money.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

One Day to Metallica Live in Delhi



(UPDATE:Metallica in Delhi is cancelled)

Finally…We just have one more day to go. Hell yeah, I am talking about the Metallica concert in Delhi. This has to be the best news for 2011. I have never imagined even in my wildest dream that I would get to see Metallica playing live. Dreams do come true.

It’s such a bad news that they are out of Metallica concert tickets for Delhi. How can someone be so disorganized. We know the turn out for Iron Maiden Concert in Bangalore. How in the world they did not planned this accordingly. It’s really sad to see so many metal heads running here and there to grab Metallica concert tickets.

I hope that the tickets will be available for sale in the venue.

Guys see you at Leisure Valley Tomorrow. Don’t forget to wear your uniform (torn jeans + Black Metallica T-shirts). After all you don’t get to dress up in your uniform everyday.
People of Gurgaon are in for a shock tomorrow. Watching some twenty to thirty thousand dudes with long hair will be such a cultural shock for them. They do see the occasional metal heads like me with long hair, torn jeans and metal shirt but seeing some thousand dudes like me will be a shock.

Have a blast and bang your head till it roll off……..

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Pictures of Metal Shows In New Delhi

We just have two days to go for Metallica in India and the Delhi metal scene couldn’t be better. Some two years back, we hardly used to have metal shows, during those times if we get to see a show once in a month that was pretty awesome as most months goes without even a single metal gig in Delhi. Today, Delhi is hosting metal shows almost every night, at least four in a week. Though I have to drag my ass to work five days a week, still I manage to catch a show or two in a week. This month I’ve managed to see three metal shows, including an international band, ‘Sylosis’, a British heavy metal band in IIT Delhi blitzkrieg 2011. The best part is, I’ll be closing this month with Metallica in New Delhi. I can’t think of a better way to end the month than watching Metallica live in New Delhi.

Circus Playing Tribute to Nirvana Nevermind 20th anniversary at Hard Rock Cafe New Delhi


The Circus: They are a groovy bunch


The Harley Rock Riders Grand Finale 2011, Talkatora Stadium


Circus played a pretty decent show. But Split stole everyone's thunder that night.


Parikrama were the headlining band but had to move out before they start playing because I can't stand those dudes anymore. Am tired of hearing the same songs.



IIT Delhi Blitzkrieg 2011

Performing Bands - Super tight. Sound - great. Lights - Super Sexy. Venue - Can't think of a better one than this. Crowd - Bunch of posers. Who the fuck does Bhangra dance in a Metal show. Its a real shame for the IIT organizers because they don't give the pass to real metal heads who live for this music but will fill the theatre with posers who doesn't know a shit about metal.


Every Year its the same story in IIT Delhi Blitzkrieg. You call up the Organizers and they will tell you they don't have any pass to the show. You somehow manage to grab hold of a pass and enter the venue. The place will be full of posers doing the Bhangra dance while Metal Bands play their heart out. Real Shame for IIT Delhi Blitzkrieg, 2011 Organizers.


Sylosis - They were Freaking Tight.



My Neck still hurts from all the head banging. Thank you Sylosis for that super awesome show!

Just two more days to Metallica in New Delhi. Its too bad that the tickets for Metallica concert in Delhi are all sold out. Hope the ticket genie and DNA guys will figure out a way. Incase if you need a ticket to the Metallica show in Delhi, let me know. I have a friend who has an extra pass...

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Average Indian Man on Women

The average Indian man concept and knowledge on women, women body, her sexuality and the way she thinks is very different from any average man of any country. Most of the opinions are hilariously while some are very offensive.

Disclaimer: Below contains strong sexual contents. Please leave if you are not comfortable with juicy sexually topics.

According to many of my colleagues, if a girl smokes, she is an easy prey. According to them, clothes of a girl who smokes will disappear faster than Poonam Pandey after the Cricket World Cup. A guy doesn’t need to do anything to get them. All we have to do is say ‘hi’ and she will come running after you. But if that’s the case, how come most of them are still virgins. BTW, a 30 year old virgin dude is not rare case, but in fact being 30 and not a virgin is a very rare case over her.

For women who drink alcohol, well I guess I don’t have to say anything here. But i think it will be like a porn video, where the guy walks in and the girl is waiting for him, no conversation just straight to the point.

How do you know a girl is interested in you? Well, a co-worker thinks that any girl who looks at him is interested in her. Every day at work, I get to hear this at least 5 time ‘Dude, that girl just looked at me, am sure she is interested in, why won’t she be, after all am handsome, my mom told me that am handsome’.

In the dictionary of an average Indian dude, there is no such thing as friendship between a man and a woman. If the opposite sex talks to you, she is interested in you.

Though discrimination is supposed to be illegal yet it is still widely practiced. There is religious discrimination, caste discrimination, regional discrimination and so on but when it comes to women, they are all equal. For an average India dude no matter what religion she follows, where she is from, what she does, her looks, the way she dress, an Indian dude will hit on any girl who comes in his way.

Who doesn’t like boobs? Some like em big, while for some, smaller the better. According to a certain guy I know, the size of a girl’s boobs depends on how much her boyfriend or husband fold and squeeze. According to this theory, the more you squeeze, the bigger it will be. Girls, why waste money on plastic enhancement, just keep on squeezing and watch it grow.

Many of you must not have heard of the term ‘Eve Teasing’, but it’s a very common term here, plus its one of the most committed crimes, especially in Delhi. But, it’s not totally the eve teaser fault’s because most guys thinks that the girl will fall in love with her if you whistle at the girl, pass comments on her body part, grab her ass in crowded places.. etc.. etc..

There are also many who believe that if you keep on following the girl you love, she will eventually fall in love with you. How do I know this? There was this guy, an ex-colleague who used to like a girl from Noida and his game plan was to roam around her house on weekends, plus there was this dude from my gym who told me that he used to circle around a certain girl college in his bike every day. With moves like this, it’s not a wonder why ‘30 and still virgin’ is so common.

Above all this one has to be the most hilarious and offensive. A certain dude from my work place told me the secret how an Indian girl preserve her virginity while still having sex. The answer is anal sex. His explanation was since most girls know that the chances of getting married to her boy friend is very slim, so instead of normal sex, girls let their boyfriends go anal.

There is a dude I know who is a hard core Death Metal fan though he wears hip hop clothes and this guy has a major crush on a girl and his game plan is to ignore her. I mean totally ignoring her. According to another female colleague, her secret to a healthy relationship is no sex.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Exploring Delhi's Street Market - Part 1

I am totally, 100% not a mall person. Reason 1: I can’t afford most of the things there, leave alone shopping there; I have to think twice before buying a soda can. I am not a cheap guy, but how can I spend when it’s so expensive, way above my wallet. Reason 2: I can’t stand those sales people with their fake smile.

I am more of a crowded market or a bazaar kind of person where I have to push my way through. I may not be the best bargainer in the city but I love to bargain. It gives me the feeling that I have the power to negotiate. Another reason why I love these places is because the people here are real.

Recently I have been exploring lots of street bazaars in New Delhi and last Sunday I went to a nearby market which happens every Sunday.

Here are some pics from there.




The Bed sheet guy. Everything in his stall/shop is for rs 15o.. Its freaking cheap



Shirts, Shirts everywhere but not a single shirt to wear.







Yeah, they even sell pirated DVD's



This is a key/lock/knife guy and you will see such guys almost everywhere. These guys are everywhere, outside my home, malls, outside movie theater .......



Remember the movie Titanic? Girls don't deny that you did not cry while watching this movie. Titanic is still a hit here in New Delhi, people still buy their t-shirts, scarfs and even jeans.. Serious, i saw some jeans with the Titanic pic in it.




What Did i got from this market
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Well i got two pairs of socks (15 bucks), a scarf (10 bucks), a tongue scraper (5 bucks) and a DVD with 5 Bollywood movies (20 bucks) , all for Rs 50 only. roughly around 1 USD.

If you want to visit this market, here are the details:
Where: RK Puram Sector 6.
Nearby Landmark: Sangam Cinema
When: Every Sunday from 14:00 to 21:00 hrs

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Buy Metallica India Concert Tickets with Hard Cash

Link
(UPDATE:Metallica in Delhi is cancelled)

(Updated: Incase if you need a ticket to the Metallica show in Delhi, let me know. I have a friend who has an extra pass.)

Guys if you don’t have a credit card or net banking, worry not! You can buy your Metallica tickets for Delhi and Bangalore with hard cash now. Ticket Genie has recently published a list of stores where you can buy Metallica India concert tickets in cities across the country, in fact in all the major cities in India. In short, you can buy Metallica Delhi concert tickets as well as Metallica concert tickets for Bangalore in almost all Planet M stores.

Crack open your piggy banks, beg your mom and dad, whore around or do whatever, just make sure that you reach these retails stores with 2750 or 1650 Rupees before its too late.

For all the lazy bastards: Click here to get the list of stores where you can buy Metallica India concert tickets with cash.

P.s: The picture above is not Metallica ticket for India, but am hopping that it will be something like this.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Going Psycho over Death!

I have a phobia for death. It’s not that serious but it’s been more than 4 months I can’t stop thinking about death. I can’t even watch movies with gun fights or anything related to death. Every day on my way to office, I think about one day I’ll have to leave all these, I won’t be here and no one would even notice that I am not here except for my family and some friends. The world will go on as usual, my death won’t make any effect to the world. The thought of burying, worms feeding on my body, it’s so terrifying. The worst is what if I come back to life after they bury me.

I have been never like this before. My phobia increased even more since the terrorist attack on Delhi High Court on September 07 and the earthquake that came later that same night. I thought Delhi was going to end that day itself.

All I can do now is pray to God that make this transaction smooth.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Happy Birthday Freddie Mercury


-->Not much real music lover can deny that Freddie Mercury wasn’t a big influence. Freddie Mercury was one of the foundation the whole rock music scene was built. His contribution to the music world is immeasurable. Freddie Mercury along with his band member created a song for every moment, at least for me. No matter what the occasion or emotion is I can always find a Queen Song that suits the mood. Here is my list of Queen Songs and when I listen to:
Love of my life and Crazy Little Thing Called Love – When am feeling all romantic

Somebody To Love – When am feeling all alone and rejected

We Will Rock Your – When I wanna Kick Some Serious Ass

We are the Champions – Well we all know when we listen to this song

Radio Ga Ga – When am reminiscing

I Want it all – Of-course when I want it all the way with my Girl (I know it’s a weird song to listen in that situation)

Under Pressure – When am in the toilet trying to push a big one down.


Happy Birthday Freddie, you're songs will always inspire me.......

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Independence Day Celebration in Office

Am grateful to all the freedom fighters who sacrificed their life so that we can have a better one, am even more grateful because we get a day off from work every year. August 15 is Indian Independence Day and my office people celebrated an advance Independence Day on 12th of August since the office will be closed on 15th of August. It was a fun day at work though the special Independence Day lunch sucked big time. We were told that we will be having a special Independence Day lunch but I never had such disgusting food ever in my life. Here are some pictures that I clicked that day.




This is the patriot rice. They Served the Tri Color Rice.


This was suppose to be the Special Independence Day Lunch. BTW, I have noticed that most Indian dishes have balls. I think that the Indian Culinary inventors are obsessed with balls. Even here in my plate you will find two balls and both are from different dishes.


The tri color sweet dish.


The patriot security guard. Who in the world would not feel safe when you have such patriot security


My work station with the tri colored balloons and the flag. This picture was taken 4 days back and the balloons look weird today with the air out, more like a penis. I think I'll have to take them down.


This is mr. Bk Bhatt, our Associate Director. No where in the world you will find such a cool Director. Am not saying this just because he sits next to me and he know that this is my blog but because he always finance our alcohol as well as mid day snacks. Everyone should have HOD's like him.