Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Average Indian Man on Women

The average Indian man concept and knowledge on women, women body, her sexuality and the way she thinks is very different from any average man of any country. Most of the opinions are hilariously while some are very offensive.

Disclaimer: Below contains strong sexual contents. Please leave if you are not comfortable with juicy sexually topics.

According to many of my colleagues, if a girl smokes, she is an easy prey. According to them, clothes of a girl who smokes will disappear faster than Poonam Pandey after the Cricket World Cup. A guy doesn’t need to do anything to get them. All we have to do is say ‘hi’ and she will come running after you. But if that’s the case, how come most of them are still virgins. BTW, a 30 year old virgin dude is not rare case, but in fact being 30 and not a virgin is a very rare case over her.

For women who drink alcohol, well I guess I don’t have to say anything here. But i think it will be like a porn video, where the guy walks in and the girl is waiting for him, no conversation just straight to the point.

How do you know a girl is interested in you? Well, a co-worker thinks that any girl who looks at him is interested in her. Every day at work, I get to hear this at least 5 time ‘Dude, that girl just looked at me, am sure she is interested in, why won’t she be, after all am handsome, my mom told me that am handsome’.

In the dictionary of an average Indian dude, there is no such thing as friendship between a man and a woman. If the opposite sex talks to you, she is interested in you.

Though discrimination is supposed to be illegal yet it is still widely practiced. There is religious discrimination, caste discrimination, regional discrimination and so on but when it comes to women, they are all equal. For an average India dude no matter what religion she follows, where she is from, what she does, her looks, the way she dress, an Indian dude will hit on any girl who comes in his way.

Who doesn’t like boobs? Some like em big, while for some, smaller the better. According to a certain guy I know, the size of a girl’s boobs depends on how much her boyfriend or husband fold and squeeze. According to this theory, the more you squeeze, the bigger it will be. Girls, why waste money on plastic enhancement, just keep on squeezing and watch it grow.

Many of you must not have heard of the term ‘Eve Teasing’, but it’s a very common term here, plus its one of the most committed crimes, especially in Delhi. But, it’s not totally the eve teaser fault’s because most guys thinks that the girl will fall in love with her if you whistle at the girl, pass comments on her body part, grab her ass in crowded places.. etc.. etc..

There are also many who believe that if you keep on following the girl you love, she will eventually fall in love with you. How do I know this? There was this guy, an ex-colleague who used to like a girl from Noida and his game plan was to roam around her house on weekends, plus there was this dude from my gym who told me that he used to circle around a certain girl college in his bike every day. With moves like this, it’s not a wonder why ‘30 and still virgin’ is so common.

Above all this one has to be the most hilarious and offensive. A certain dude from my work place told me the secret how an Indian girl preserve her virginity while still having sex. The answer is anal sex. His explanation was since most girls know that the chances of getting married to her boy friend is very slim, so instead of normal sex, girls let their boyfriends go anal.

There is a dude I know who is a hard core Death Metal fan though he wears hip hop clothes and this guy has a major crush on a girl and his game plan is to ignore her. I mean totally ignoring her. According to another female colleague, her secret to a healthy relationship is no sex.