Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Life is an Irony Bitch - A collection of Real Life Stories

Life is a freaking irony bitch and she sure knows how to entertain herself. Unfortunately most of her humor ends in a WTF moment for us. But again she knows how to have fun. Right now my life is like a factory where fresh warm ironies are manufactured and the factory does not only produces these fresh ironies for me, the people around me seem to be getting their daily supply of irony.

Life is an Irony Bitch - 1

I have this very close friend of mine from school, madly in love with a girl but this chick started dating another dude before my buddy could make his move. After waiting for around three years my buddy decided to date another girl. Just as he starts dating, the chick he was waiting to be single got dumped. Seeing a window of opportunity my friend broke up with his girlfriend. But again, the girl got back with her guy and they got engaged within a week. Now this buddy of mine is single, depressed, lonely and maybe a little bit horny too.

Life is an Irony Bitch – 2

My uncle got engaged with this amazing girl and just four months to the wedding he noticed a small bald spot in the middle of his head. As a man who waited for years for this day he wanted everything to be perfect so he consulted one of those guys who sell ayurvedic medicines (BTW ayurvedic medicines are Indian traditional medicine made of herbs and roots).  Every morning I would see him apply this medicine mixed in coconut hair oil. After a month, the medicine starts working. Within three months, my uncle was almost bald with only 10% of his precious hair in his mirror like head. A week before the wedding, his friend, family and his to be bride contributed what he should do. The idea of a hat or a wig was the most popular but in the end he decided to shave off the remaining 10% hair and got married.

Life is a Bitch – 3 (WTF Moment - 1)

Not so long ago, our neighbourhood was haunted by a crazy monkey who would swing his way inside people’s home, steal their food, mess up the kitchen and at times bit people too. It was around first of June my friend was taking his afternoon nap when this crazy son of a monkey marched inside his flat. My friend tried to chase the monkey out but end up wrestling the monkey. The monkey did not only win the match but he also bit my friend before walking out like a brave warrior. That afternoon he went to get some injection because he was scared that the bite might turn him into some kind of a superhero, maybe something like Monkey Man with powers to swing cables from flat to flat, violently play with his junk in public. The doctor gave him some very expensive injections and just as he steps out of the clinic he got bite by a stray dog, though no further injections were required.

Life is a Bitch – 4 (WTF Moment – 2)

Alcohol is great. It brings out the real ‘us’. Recently in our weekly drinking session, a friend invited a guy new to the group who moved near my home. This dude told us the most amazing life experience story. One night he was giving it to his wife real good (doggy style) and out of nowhere his super cute 4 years old son came from behind and grab his balls and asked, ‘Dad what is this’!!!